Today choir's workshop went pretty okay. But i was exhausted by the end of it.
Hmm....currently smsing frank. I think I'm being rather harsh. I think it's cuz i was getting irritated at him being sentimental. I mean...yeah...you can be sentimental if you want, but don't dwell on it for so long. It's been so long and we can't forget.
We keep living the same freaking nightmare. We keep thinking about the harsh actions that were done to us. We keep thinking about how they let us down...we keep thinking about how freaking lonely we are. Maybe I was angry cuz I thought I finally got over some things but he had to remind me on how much it hurt then.
I wrote, "...I'm really...all that's left of what supposed to be a happy ending. I don't have anybody. Don't you think I'm not lonely? It looks like I still have you as a good friend. But frankly....You're always not getting over what's gone. It's time to move on. There's nothing left to cry about anymore."
I sound like I have some serious issues. O.O
Well who cares. Maybe I have been influenced by Hwee Tian. She taught me to pick myself up and move on. Don't dwell in the sickening past if you don't have to.
So that's what I did. I didn't care about anything anymore. I won't pretend it never happened, cuz it did. But I won't keep thinking about it as well. I don't want to hear anything about it ever again. I'm going to move on and that's it.
I don't pity those who hurt me. If other people hurt them, it's called retribution.
Suddenly, I don't feel like replying him anymore.
I won't save him. I'll tell him to stand up himself. ___________________________________________________________________
Maybe it was retribution. Because I hurt her once, someone helped her to hurt me.
No amount of apology and sorry would do the job.
Maybe I had it coming all along.
No amount of tears could bring back what used to be.
I'm tired of harping on the same subject.
I'm sick of telling myself how much I didn't blame her, but I hated him.
I don't want to care. I don't need to know.
I'm done with being in pain. I'm going to pick myself up.
I'll help Frank up, but if he chooses to sit and drown, there's nothing much I can do either.
I'm not a saint.
Even if the whole world hates me...even if I really have no where else to go...
I can always go and sit in my corner.
Crying, being scared, retreating more and more into the darkness.
It was then I realized. I have always been alone. I'm just trying to run away from it.
Because I'm so darn pathetic. Because I didn't wanna admit it.
If I really opened my eyes in the darkness, I know who I'll see.
It's Sakura, Freya and Sky.
The only three who have been with me for so long.
Sakura, with her everlasting kindness. Freya, with her strong-will and firm sense of reality.
Lastly, Sky...with her ever warm arms and glowing light that would shield me from the darkness. Her acceptance. Her guidance.
Ning is right. I'm fading into the darkness. Very fast indeed.
Name: Sakura Rikami
Birthday: 15th June
Location: In the deepest depths of hell
Age: Sure...I'll tell you if you come to hell with me. xD
{Faves/Desires/Wishes}
-I just want someone to release me from my hell.
-Cosplay costumes?
-An Ipod. (I wanna listen to songs!)
-Comics. LOTS of comics.
-Lazy to write the rest...^^"