I guess it's been so long. I wonder how you're doing from time to time.
I'm doing fine. At least...I think so.
You know...that day you left.
Well. I've been thinking about it.
Maybe I should have stopped you. Maybe I should have cried and said, "Don't go."
But I guess...it wouldn't have made a difference right?
You didn't love me anymore. It's useless for you to stay anyway.
I've always wondered how much I weighed in your heart. Maybe not a lot.
Maybe I didn't even matter.
But still...
My feelings were true.
I know it's stupid. I often laughed at myself for that.
It's not like the world ended, just because you weren't there.
Yet it hurts. It's like a wound which would never heal.
Do you know? I bet you don't.
I bet I'm the only one who is stupid enough to continue crying.
I bet I was the only one who really started to learn to love.
And now...I'm the one who had lost.
You walked away with just a pained look and perhaps a couple of hidden tears.
But I was the one who was stuck in the past. Forever.
I really regretted this.
So please...stop torturing me. Just go away.
Don't treat me ever so gently. Even in my dreams. Just...disappear. ___________________________________________________________________
Hmm. Wow. This song is so powerful. o.O
I'm currently listening to Angela Aki's song, Sakurairo. (or Sakura-Iro)
I don't know whether they're heartfelt thoughts. But I was trying to put myself in the shoes of someone who had lost her lover. So I hoped that I did well. xD
Today we went down for basketball again.
I remember that for the past few days, someone was having problems understanding why she liked someone else. Then she asked me, I said I dunno. I mean...obviously, I'm not her. So how in the world would I know her feelings?
But today I think I know. I was observing the guy occasionally. Then I realized that he's actually very kind. Maybe being good and kind would make some girls bored, but seriously. He's a nice boy. So I'm not very worried that he'll hurt her. I think it would be the other way instead.
Poor things.
I kinda expected this outcome though. When you have so many trees in the forest and stuff.
I did warn her. I did say that she's subconsciously flirting with the other guys. But she wouldn't believe me. Hmph.
Oh well...it's their problem.
Not that it's really any of my business anyway...Nowadays people don't really bother about me. And in reply, I don't bother about them either.
I think I'm going into one of my "I depise the whole world and the ugly humans who live in it." mode.
Alright. I'm blogging off. Shall add the lyrics for the new song here. ___________________________________________________________________
Sakura-Iro - Angela Aki (Japanese)
Kawazoi ni saiteta Sakura namiki wo Tomo ni ikite yuku to Futari de aruita Sekai ni nomikomare Hakidasarete mo Tada soba ni itakute Motto motto motto
Jikan no nagare to ai no hazama ni ochite Anata wo ushinatta
Koishikute me wo tojireba Ano goro no futari ga iru Sakura-iro no anata wo wasure nai Zutto zutto zutto
Anata kara hanarete Jibun wo shitta Yume ni chikadukitakute Motto motto motto
Hitei no kotoba ni oshitsubusarete mo Hai agari tatakai tsuduketa
Kurushikute me wo tojireba Ano goro no jibun ga iru Sakura-iro no watashi wo wasure nai Zutto zutto zutto
Furusato kokoro no naka de ima demo Yasashiku hibiku yo Sonna uta ga kikoeru
Koishikute me wo tojireba Ano goro no futari ga iru Sakura-iro no anata no koto wo Sakura-iro no watashi no koto wo Sakura-iro no jidai wo wasure nai Zutto zutto zutto Zutto zutto zutto
(English)
Along the river a row of cherryblossom trees are blossoming The two of us, living together, walking this path together And though this world may swallow me up and spit me I simply want to be by your side Forever and ever
But alas, we were caught in the flow of time and the loop of love, and one day you passed away
Oh my beloved, if I close my eyes I can see the two of us, way back then Oh the sight of you, colored by the cherryblossom is something I will never, ever, forget
After parting with you I started to understand myself and my dreams got closer, and closer within reach
Tough negative words crushed me at times once the dust would settle, I’d continue the fight
Oh the pain! If I close my eyes I can see how I was back then But the image of myself, colored by the cherryblossom is something I will never, ever, forget
Even now my home is gently echoing throughout my heart I can hear that song right now...
Oh my beloved, if I close my eyes I can see the two of us, way back then the sight of you, colored by the cherryblossom the image of myself, colored by the cherryblossom oh that time, of the cherryblossom color I will never, ever, never ever, forget
Name: Sakura Rikami
Birthday: 15th June
Location: In the deepest depths of hell
Age: Sure...I'll tell you if you come to hell with me. xD
{Faves/Desires/Wishes}
-I just want someone to release me from my hell.
-Cosplay costumes?
-An Ipod. (I wanna listen to songs!)
-Comics. LOTS of comics.
-Lazy to write the rest...^^"